Decolonize Myself. The act of undoing the hold of colonization. Of course there is the original meaning and then there are numerous adapted meanings. In my journey it is a reconnecting to my culture and applying it to the world around me.
Decolonize Myself. The title alone should inform others that I am imperfect. I share things I find interesting or challenging. I share things I aspire to be. At times I share things that I disagree with but have to remind myself it is about perspectives. The page is another facet to my ever-changing personal journey.
Decolonize Myself. As the title suggests I am reclaiming myself. I am examining everything through a First Nations lens. I try to follow the cultural guidelines of character but hardly do I succeed. I also try not to be a cultural gatekeeper. I make mistakes, learn from them, take accountability, retry, fail again, start over.
Decolonize Myself. I begrudgingly accept this has become a "platform." I have also resigned myself to the fact that I will not please everyone. I will make enemies. I will make new kinships. I will find myself and lose myself all in one breath. I cannot control someone else's narrative of who I am.
Decolonize Myself. I have accepted the fact that my own people/people of color will be my harshest critics. A handful of my own people will act like the colonizer toward me. I will imperfectly defend myself and knowingly always lose to these types. I see the loss of culture in the way some of my own behave. I see the loss of culture in how I behave. This is why it is decolonize myself.
Decolonize Myself. It also means that I am not their victim. I take my power back by denouncing who the colonizer told me to be. I take my power back by denouncing the parts of me that want to emulate the colonizer's hate. I don't always win but I don't always lose. The harshest critic will always be myself.
I am grateful for the ones who still follow after they see me at my worst. I am grateful that our cultural teachings are still very much alive in some of you. I am grateful to be able to share my imperfect journey with others. I will continue to do my best and expect the worst.